sudden realisations

I think the turning point in general happiness came a couple of weeks ago, the day I realised that cie skating, while really fun and a wonderful sport, was too expensive for me to continue. I now have no purposes outside of shcool and I feel quite lost without somethng to hold me down. I've run out of money as my employer seems to have laid me off without further notice, which means I am now at a loss and everything I was planning has fallen apart. Thank you so much, employers, for not realising that when somebody says they are very ill, they often mean it. I would love to work for you again but first let me wallow in the fact you have somewhat ruined my dreams. I now have ice skates which cost me £100 and I cannot afford to use them. They just sit in my room and never move because I know they will just go back onto that shelf after about five minutes. This is a horrible feeling. But never mind... So long as you know what you're doing, everything's okay, right? Right?

10th November 2010

Bonjour again, I've been using my time wisely meeting interesting new people and scaring them with my harsh tactics and strong opinions.

Currently I am taking my A-Levels AS courses, which are challenging, fun, difficult, fun, stressful, and fun.

I have also decided I need another word besides fun.

Who have I met?
* George M
* Rhian J
* Stephen H
* Pam U
* Miko B

That last one is scarily important. Frighteningly. He is lovely but it is a daunting task trying to keep up with his multilingual mind, though it's worth it when I can.

Continuing my travels (firguratively) I have dyed my hair purple and re-eastablished some old friendships as well as making new ties. It feels good to be free, though I get up for school at the same time each morning regardless of when i actually have to be in, just because it is nice to have more time to myself rather than having to spend it with the family. We are always at conflict, like lines that try to be parallel but fail miserably and crash into each other on a frequent basis. Hopefully our ball of string will be untangled soon.

July twenty-first

Hello there, as I'm sure you can see, My name is Victoria and this is my blog. I'd shake your hand, but that's difficult over cyberspace and I'd find myself hard-pressed to encounter anyone who wouldn't scream like a little girl were they to be confronted with a hand coming out of their monitor anyway.


July is the first month I get off totally because I finished my GCSEs last month. For those of you in America it's the equivalent of SATs. To put it in English terms, we're all aiming for different "estimated" grades- some of us As and A stars, and some of us may be hard pressed to get an F. Make no mistake, plenty of us are not good at everything: I'm sure you know that. For instance, I'm taking fourteen GCSEs. I'm predicted at a C or above in all of them, and I have no difficulty saying that in thirteen I will get a C or above, but in Art I have failed MISERABLY! It transpired that I never was very good at drawing things... But never mind. Under my belt I'll have two Maths GCSEs, Two English GCSEs and three Science GCSEs, as well as a plethora of other subjects, some of which I don't even enjoy studying.


I don't get my results until August 24th and I am feeling okay but for obvious reasons I'm quite nervous. If I don't get good enough grades I won't be able to take my courses next year (German, Law, Government and Politics, Critical Thinking, Sociology) and if my grades are terrible I won't be going to sixth form (or post 16) at all. Though I doubt very much that this will be the case, I conjure up the situation in my mind anyway of opening that envelope and seeing I have failed, and it brings me a great deal of angst.


The fitness training is coming along well (having two and a bit months' holiday leaves me with only four choices- TV, Sleeping all the time, Getting a job, or Exercising. I've wanted to get fit for a long time now so this is the oppoirtune time to do it, and it's not in vain. My legs are thinner and I've dropped a kilo in a month.

Many of you may think this is slow but I must stress that because of the exercise and the protein I'm puttng on muscle as I drop fat, and I'm only sixteen so throwing myself into a streuous diet would only stunt my growth. Which I would HATE!!

I currently stand at five foot six and a half inches (about 168cm) and I'm about nine stone nine pounds (135lbs or 61.5kg). I'm not particularly bulky but still I've had a period of chubbiness between my ninth and fifteenth years of age and I'm working it off slowly because the last thing I want to do is stay this height. I have large feet (size nine english, ten american, forty-two european) so I'm growing into those. Slowly. and it is PAINFULLY slow, this growing lark. I wish I could shoot right up! I'd rather be lanky than how I am now.

Guess what, guess what!!!

You know, I'm sure, by looking at the post beneath this, that I said I was going to do something with my life this year... Well, I'm currently in the midst of my GCSE examinations (and yet still have free time to lie in the sun and read- oh the joys!) and as I said I would, I have found something to do. I know, as I always have, that it is rather the expensive habit, but I have taken up ice skating. This is because I have flexibility and I like to exercise, but there is an element of danger in there too, and it's a wonderful feeling just gliding across that ice. It feels truly fantastic.
I bought my own skates and I took some lessons and I'm getting pretty good now. They say I'll compete in the olympics soon. (that last part was a blatant lie but still, one can dream...) In truth, I do hope that I'll keep improving, as it's really something I enjoy.
I've been ice skating for years but until now have had no formal tuition so while I am quite sure on my feet there is always something new for me to learn and I love that feeling that there is something somebody else can teach me about that I won't necessarily ever NEED but rather that I want.
I am very happy.
I have chosen my A-Levels and I am to be taking Law, German, Government and Politics, Critical Thinking and Sociology. I like the idea of taking a social science, it intrigues me to see what we will learn about.
My friend ( as usual) started ranting off about how anybody would be taking the Law course because it's not all that difficult and I'm likely to end up with people who have little or no work ethic. I slapped him and told him that anybody willing to tick a box next to that word has to be prepared to work for it. Plus of course you have to get good enough GCSE grades to get on these courses- good English and Science and Religion, because it's about mixing empathy and fact.
German is the subject I'm most looking forward to, because it's the most difficult for so many. Some people just do not seem to have the gift of being able to learn a second language this late becayse of their barriers of how much they can suck up.
I say, there are over two hundred million people who can speak English, and others who cannot but can speak German, and so I would like to perhaps one day be able to tal to somebody in German OR English and have it be our choice, and that would be wonderful and fun and allow me to meet new people. I love meeting new people.
In German there are obscure phrases which we sometimes use such as Schadenfreude and less common ones (but still awesome nonetheless) like "Das ist indeskutabel." Schadenfreude is the process through which somebody takes pleasure in seeing another's discomfort (offset of Sadism I suppose) and "Das ist indeskutabel" means "that is out of the question." I use it rather a lot when arguing with people because it throws them off course.
Hopefully I will do well, though some friends and acquaintances think I'm mad.

What I've done

 It has come to my attention that I have not done much with my life, and this year I aim to change that, but I want to know what I should do to make my life more interesting. I start my A levels this coming september, so maybe that will be enough. i got the interview letter on January 9th. Today is January 10th 2010. I hope you're all having a good year.

Two awesome things I've said so far this year: "I don't do warm and fuzzy. In fact I haven't been warm and fuzzy since a witch turned me temporarily into a fire-breathing dragon."
"I was going for one of two things; either paw, which scores...something, or.......mew."

It's so cold! There's lots of snow here in Bristol, in England. Overnight it gets down to minus 7 or minus 10 which means it doesn't melt, and in the day it varies between one and minus one, so stuff begins to melt but then freezes again soon after. I don't think I remember snow this bad in my entire life here, and I've never moved.

Time and date

I make a habit of putting a time and date on everything I write that is of relevance. Blog posts don't need this because it's better to remain a little mysterious, but just for the sake of it, it's 22:22 and it's Christmas Eve 2009. I don't get tired easily and why would I want to sleep? This is going to be the strangest Christmas ever (so far in my life would be a better way to put it...) but there are so many presents under the tree that I'm happy anyway.

Right now I'm chiding myself for that because it means I am one of those awful people who goes by material possessions alone, relying on them to provide happiness. Well, that's what it looks like, but I don't think I really am- I treasure memories more than anything, and the thing that gets me from one day to the next is thinking about the future and the new things- knowledge mainly- I will gain, from living.

I don't meet or see many people these days who take a good look at things the way they are. How upsetting it would be for the unobservant to become blind and never to have seen the world, or would they be unaware? Would they not know what they were missing, having never seen it in the first place? I always sit and wonder.

They don't put a time and date on things, I think, because due to their ignorance there is less for them to write about. I can write for hours about the things around me if I really wish to, but I want to do other things as well and at the same time, even if it is impossible for me to do so. I want to listen to a song on the internet, and play my guitar or my piano, at the same time, though it would clash horribly and make little or no musical sense at all.

What I enjoy the most about being observant is that through being observant and noting to someone the things you see them doing, they become more observant and do the same to you and to other people and you can have a laugh about these silent, secret things, because the less observant members out of our circle of friends haven't been watching or paying attention as we have.

One friend can tell exactly how I'm feeling over the phone. One accuses me of being distant before I know it myself, or points out weird things- "you clean when you're stressed." I realise these friends are right... And it spooks me in a good way, and a way that I want others to be spooked in too.

22:31. In 89 minutes, it will be Christmas Day.

Goodnight.

Getting my bearings

I already have three other blogs on blogger, and this I think will be the oddest one. This is the blog in which I hope I can open up and show at least one person that I'm not incredibly odd but I don't think normality is viwed the same way by different people. And of course, why would it be? Each person has a different way of doing things, different things, different times. To different people and in a range of places.

This is me.

The reason I called this blog a single curl is because I've cut my hair a few times, and there's always that on curl left in the sink or on my clothes or wherever that gives away what I've done. It's significant because it shows I'm not always as careful as I'd like to be, and I make mistakes.